Lost
“are you lost?” said the man.
“meep” I said.
“where’s your mum”…
“meep” I said.
I was lost in Farmers department store - around the time of the Vietnam war. I was in unfamiliar territory and I was three.
… some time passes…
I’m back in the same department store… it’s been converted into a posh hotel… and I’m like… posh (possibly a little too posh), so that’s where I stay… anyway I’m naked in a service elevator. It’s 7am. I shouldn’t be there.
I have no idea where I am (who I am), or how I got there… these people keep coming in dressed as butlers with silver trays etc, and I’m like “where am I?” They ignore me.
You need a staff card to operate the lift - without it the buttons don’t work. Fuck knows how I got in there in the first place - it takes about 15 minutes for me to remember where I am. Eventually I escape, and (suddenly naked and self-aware) negotiate the corridors and stairways etc back where I came from.
By some miracle, there’s a locksmith dude opening the room next to mine - so I get him to let me in.
Later on the hotel moustache guy comes to ask me wtf I was doing.
This was a couple of years ago. According to this article, sleepwalking in hotels has gone up by 700% in the last couple of years.
I blame myself.
PS: Angie… please don’t be put off by this.
It’s never happened since, and even if it does - if you play your cards right you could have a child as musical and well-dressed as the one pictured…. it’s got to be worth it.
