Spam
These are the messages that I recieved from my “friends” today :
If you read between the lines you can determine quite a lot about my character - or more accurately, my lack of character - as percieved by the people that know me. Or those who don’t.
You can tell the sort of person they’d like me to be. Someone with a massive cock wearing lots of watches. If anyone reading this knows any of these people, please tell them that I’ve already got a massive cock. I already wear a lot of watches.
I find it hard to say no to people though, so more often than not, I wind up buying every single thing that spammers offer me… and often it’s not easy to figure out what they’re talking about. I mean one of them said this : Thereof, and feed it came up for the be despised Moses, went to those in the four thousand and the word of God Is exceeding in for they may be of the oxen, Or an ephah and the power in that (Saul, came unto thee receive not go out into mind could not good or have
What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Is it a puzzle? Is it a cutting insult that’s obviously over my head? I don’t understand it.
It looks biblical. Is God trying to say something to me? Oh Christ no, not again. The last time was an embarrassing fuck-up… But what if it is? I can’t risk ignoring it… what does he want me to do?
Buy more Viagra? I am! I am!… I’m already a walking hard on with a cock the size of the eiffel tower… there’s only so much Viagra you can take. It’s making it difficult to go out in public etc. It’s… complicating things.
My life was better before email actually.
