IkoStar

1) There is some sort of radioactive accident in a germ-warfare lab and the mutant cockroaches escape and terrorise downtown New York.

2) In 2008, Extra-terrestrials completely ignore us, even more than they did in 2007. In spite of this, numerous sightings are like… “seen” everywhere, especially over Washington, but the only photos that are taken are really blurry.

3) The Internet becomes sentient and takes over all the nuclear bomb computers and then declares war on humanity. After that it makes awesome bio-robots that can travel in time and make all the phones ring at once.

4) A giant asteroid nearly hits the earth, but some spacemen go out and blow it up before it gets here… apart from one little bit, which hits downtown New York, and yellow cabs go flying through the air in slow-motion, which is awesome.

5) A killer disease wipes out just about everyone and the survivors go on a massive looting spree in downtown New York. Eventually they realise that possessions aren’t what really matter in the end - what does, is the people that love them etc… Who are all dead, so like, whatever. On with the shopping LOL.

6) The entire planet floods and all the people that survive wind up living on boats and drinking this really evil moon-shine distilled out of their own piss. The baddies are on oil-tankers and are bastards and it was probably them that caused the flood in the first place. Cunts cunts cunts. Their boat will probably blow up… and this one guy at the end will be going down the beach and find the statue of liberty buried in sand. He will have a nice chick though, so yea. Result.

7) A beast rises up out of the sea, having seven heads and ten horns, and upon his horns ten crowns, and upon his heads the name of blasphemy, And the beast which I saw was like unto a leopard, and his feet were as the feet of a bear, and his mouth as the mouth of a lion: and the dragon gave him his power, and his seat, and great authority, LOL.

A small child manages to outwit some burglars intent on pinching his parent’s stuff while they are out irresponsibly enjoying themselves.

9) Yea, ok, whatever.

10) At the end there’s a massive party and everyone gets pissed up, and then counts down until 2009… which will turn out to be pretty much the same as 2008, which was in the end kindof the same as 2007… and you know what? I can’t remember what happened in 2007, and it was only about 4 days ago.

These predictions are based on a series of visions I had over the festive season.