Bloke-Care.
Goes tae supermarket.
WTF? There’s about a million different types of everything you want except the thing you’re actually looking for. It’s fucking insanity. I don’t want shampoo for hair that has all sorts of intractible problems, I don’t want to have to become an expert in all the myriad different types of bog-rolls etc… I’ve already got too much to think about, I don’t need to be bombarded with a zillion confusing descisions about stuff that I know nothing about (and am not that interested in in any case) every time I try to feed myself.
What my supermarket needs is a Bloke-Care section… where there are tins (or whatever) of food with “food” written on the labels - like those ones in Repo Man, with Harry Dean Stanton who is excellent. I want Shampoo that’s in a plain bottle with a label that simply says “Shampoo”. In 40px Verdana. Beer is a little different… we know a bit about beer, but everything else… fuck it. We want something that’s been chosen for us by some invisible maternal figure. Please. Free us from all these irrelevant choices.
The Food Tins would obviously have all sorts of different things in them… so it would be a surprise each time etc. We don’t care. As long as it’s up to a certain standard etc… and if it’s been chosen by an invisible maternal figure then it will be.
So there you go. Business opportunity. You don’t need to actually make the stuff.. just a load of food labels. Buy the stuff, stick the labels on and set up a stall outside.
By the way, if you took/made that picture of the tin… I’m using it without permission or attribution because I can’t remember where it came from - it’s excellent though. Pretty much every photo on this whole site is used without permission or attribution, because life is too short and I couldn’t give a rat’s in any case, but this time I’ll make an exception, because this is a work of art. Let me know who you are and I’ll buy you a tiny present of some sort.
