IkoStar

Ok, I live in Crows Nest in Sydney now - right in the middle bit where all the shops etc are. I would provide a photo, but I don’t have one - so here is a picture of some yellow things wrecking a building back in NZ

Which has nothing to do with anything really, but there you go.

I’ve moved out of my loft-style contemporary urban living space in Wellington and moved into a loft-style contemporary urban living space in Aus. This one may be better than the Wellington one actually. There are certainly a lot more TV channels, although I’m not actually watching TV at the moment, because I’m writing this.

There’s a pub in Crows Nest called “The Crows Nest” - because that’s how Australians name things. They’re kindof direct. If a beach is sandy, the call it Sandy Beach. I used to live opposite a sausage shop in Melbourne, run by a woman named Sue - so it was called Sue’s Sausage Shop, and why not?

Anyway - we were at The Crows Nest about this time last year - and they hadn’t quite got their no-smoking-inside act together yet so the smoking room was actually this massive broom closet which was open to the sky etc - behind the bit where the pokies are. So obviously if you are fairly drunk and there are brooms etc you have a broom-fight - you play light-sabres with them, which is innocent enough. No harm done etc. It’s all in slow motion anyway.

Unfortunately there were cctv cameras AND The Crows Nest is the only pub in NSW where the bouncers are allowed to carry guns on account of there being a couple of armed-holdups recently by people weilding axes. I kid you not.

So the door bursts open and there’s all these really chunky looking blokes who reminded me a bit of the gay sailor things off The Fith Element (which is annoying)… and I can’t find a picture of those either, so here’s a picture of some little monkey things which kindof capture the vibe.

So I instantly piss myself with laughter and they get even more serious and physically man-handled us out of the building. We rolled around on the pavement outside asphyxiating with hilarity etc. The entire evening was a huge success.

Anyway, that was last year. This year (last night in fact) I got thrown out of the same place again for reasons I can’t quite fathom. I’m sure it was all a simple misunderstanding etc. On the way home (it’s about 50 yards from here) I noticed that you can see my front window - and it did cross my mind that I should moon up at myself - only I wasn’t there so it would have been a wasted-moon, and besides, I simply don’t do that sort of thing. It’s a bit uncooth etc, and I’m cooth. Probably a bit too cooth I suspect - and that maybe why the bouncers objected to me this time around. It was that whole coother-than-thou vibe I was projecting.

I feel a bit shot-away at the moment to be honest. I can hardly string a sentence together.