Swearbots
It looks like someone over there ——>
has invented a robot that looks like a fat, cartoon darth-vader flea, which wanders about in the dark and whenever it hits an obstacle it fills the air with expletives.
Which is fair enough in my opinion. That’s what I do whenever I hit an obstacle… I swear blue bloody murder. I yell blood and fire at whatever obstacle it was etc. Idiot.
This isn’t my fault. I’m a product of the Blame Culture… that’s what we do: we blame, and there’s nothing any of us can do about it…. but like, whatever. I notice from the page that this comes from that you have to make up your own swearwords which kindof sucks - does it not have a mind of it’s own?… and then it says “Warning: Parents can hear what Insultabotz is saying just as easily as you can” and then “Double warning: Parents can record messages just as easily as you can”.
Well, what’s the point of that? I would’ve thought that the whole point of these things was to fill them up with profanities so extreme they’d make the devil himself lose control of his bowels… or at the very least cause that moron from next door who shall remain nameless (simon robinson) (who dribbles) to scream and run away crying etc, too traumatised to tell anyone what happened (and anyway, who would believe him?) - just sitting there, ashen-faced, rocking back and forth, refusing to speak etc. That would be cool. But what do they do instead? They preprogram them with embedded parental-monitoring mind control. The whole thing is an exercise in self-censorship. That’s the last thing children need.
Swearbots? Arsebots. That’s what I call them. I could do so much better than that.
So I’m thinking of starting up a sideline in pre-programmed swearbots… or better still, have a whole tyrannical army of them that I control with psychokinesis from my fortress of solitude and whatnot. They invade the unsuspecting earth crashing into things and swearing and fucking everything up.
That would be so cool I can hardly stand it.
